THE GREATER JIHAD

By C. Flie Irshad

Don’t be alarmed; this word is not what you've been taught that it is. It is not what some misguided souls portray it to be. One way it can be defined is struggle; this is what I mean it to be as when I say it. Each day I struggle to be better than I was. You may be thinking well who are you and who were you? Ok I’ll paint the picture a little for you if you’re curious. I was Carl Flie. A 90s baby from Oakland, California, who was infatuated with the "Street Life" and what came with it. I thrived in the destruction that so many youths willingly give their lives and take lives for.

I don’t think we really think about the consequences too much until someone is either in a box in the ground or in a cage that can resemble a kennel. At one point I was I was willing and even yearned to take life for the smallest of reasons. I proudly lived by the "code of the streets." You know some of the cliches. “Kill or be killed,” or “I’d rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.” Growing up living that way of life seemed like the only way for me to live.

Today I am thankful and can never be grateful enough to the Creator for allowing me to grow, mature, be of sound mind and be able to see other aspects of life. I believe that those who view the world by the lens of the “Code of the streets,” live in this bubble that people on the outside view as abnormal. It is not normal to most people to always carry a weapon and not hesitating when the time comes to use it.

I was one of those people who felt like it was normal, this is what a lot of youth and I was exposed to before we realized there are other ways to live. This destructive mentality I lived by is what led me to the 80-month sentence in prison. I subjected myself to the turmoil and misery that captivity can be. That is who I was... Who I am... “I am Irshad”, a Muslim man in constant competition with myself to be better than I was or than I ever thought I could be in the past. A Muslim man striving and struggling to find peace. in a world where it seems like peace is the last thing people want, whether in or out of prison. A Muslim man striving and struggling to conquer my lower desire, while most are submitting and succumbing to theirs. This is “The Greater Jihad.”

Many people are Muslims in body and spirit yet their lower selves are unbelieving. A person may call himself a Muslim and perform the obligatory duties of a Muslim. However, we are forced to the conclusion that his lower self cannot be Muslim if he shows symptoms of such vices as malice, envy, pride, hypocrisy, and greed for reputation, money and status. it is very hard to bring one’s lower self to Islam. The struggle with the lower self is tougher than any contest. That is why the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) described the struggle with external enemies as the lesser Jihad and the battle with the self as the greater Jihad. The lower self is a man's greatest enemy, which can be subdued by prayer, fasting, charity, pilgrimage and by following the example of the blessed messenger (PBUH). You don’t have to be Muslim to follow the example of a righteous person who happens to be Muslim. Take what you can use in your life and leave what you may feel you don’t need.

The Qur’an, which I believe in, does not make me your enemy. Many men base their opinion of my faith on corrupt Muslim men they’ve met. However, not many men (that are not Muslim) have taken the time to examine the Qur’an itself. To read the Qur’an is to learn respect for the faith of Islam whether you embrace it or not.

“He may be good, but no man is innocent.”

My favorite author, a woman by the name of Sister Souljah wrote this in one of her books: “Remember this. Babies are innocent they are the only ones who are. When you sit down with any man, know that he is not innocent. Men are given evil options throughout each day. How each man responds to evil options and suggestions is the only way for you to determine if he is a good man. He may be good, but no man is innocent.” In the struggle to grow a person, some mistakes may be made. Bad decisions may be made, but those decisions should not make people disregard our opinions. 

There are great minds behind these fences and walls, we still exist, we have tremendous contributions to add to our societies and the world as a whole. There is extreme value in some of us that are in captivity. In my Opinion a bad decision does not lower your value, continuous indulgence in destruction does. I am grateful for my bad decision; if I hadn’t made it, I most likely would not be the man striving and struggling to be a servant willingly submitting to the Creator; I wouldn’t be striving and struggling to do right and forbid wrong, wouldn’t be striving and struggling to live up to my name, Irshad, which means, giving direction, showing the right way to proceed; moral, religious, spiritual guidance, development of mature humanity, enlightenment.

In the Qur‘an it says, “Jihad is ordained for you though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing, which is good for you and that you like a thing, which is bad for you. Allah knows but you know not” (2:216). There is a saying that is attributed to the Prophet (PBUH) that says, “Whatever is for you was never meant to miss you and whatever missed you was never meant for you.” This is the reason why I can find peace in my captivity. I hope all who read these words find peace in their Jihad. I wish you all peace.

lrshad.